In the Car??

So I really enjoyed the Fall ball, but Rob hated it. I can't blame him too much; he hates loud music, he didn't know anybody, it was hard to get to know anybody when the music was so loud, and besides we were there for close to an hour and a half before most of my friends showed up. However, I often feel like I have to leave dances and events sooner than I would otherwise, because Rob wants to leave, and so I just decided that night I was going to stay. I gave him the keys, told him to go home, and that I would get a ride home myself from one of the other students or on the buses that the lawschool was running between the hotel (out on Triphammer) and the law school. I thought that seemed like a reasonable compromise - he could go home and sleep, which is what he wanted to do, and I could stay at the party, which is what I wanted to do, and so we'd both be happier.

I suppose that might sound weird to some people, but after all, it's not like past years where we had to treasure every second together because we only saw each other on the weekends. We're close enough we see each other pretty often, and if anything Rob is more likely than me to say how it's not such a big deal if we don't "make the most of every second" together because we do see each other at least 4 days out of the week. So I didn't think it was so ridiculous or callous to suggest that he go home and I stay at the dance.

Rob insisted however that he come back to pick me up rather than me get a ride from someone else. So when 1am rolls around and Rob comes to get me, I find out that he spent an the time - over an hour - sitting outside in the car instead of going home!! He said that since it took him 20 minutes to get back to my apartment and then 20 minutes to get back to the dance he'd only be home for 20 minutes, so he just decided it wasn't worth it.

I think actually he was underestimating the amount of time - I think it was closer to 11:30 when he left, not midnight, so that he had closer to an hour and a half of lapse time rather than just an hour. But no one can be sure. I'm also not convinced it would be 20 minutes back to my apartment on State street from Triphammer. At that time of night, although there's a lot of people out and about, most of them aren't in cars cuz they're drinking. I think it would have been more like 10-15 minutes to get home. But I could be wrong.

But all that aside, needless to say he was pretty grumpy and feeling pretty neglected by that point. I felt bad for him but I wasn't at all inclined to feel guilty because I thought his decision to sit in the car was dumb- and I would never have stayed at the dance if he had told me that is what he was going to do. He claimed that he wasn't grumpy because of the sitting in the car, but that while at the dance he felt unimportant, because I should have been making more of an effort to include him in conversation. I replied that the fact that I was introducing him to every single person from my section I ran into "Hey this is my boyfriend Rob!" Would indicate that he was important, although he felt like I was showing off. I also said that he left just as things were getting started, really - I had a number of conversations w/ people afterward which if he'd been around I think he could have joined in, but he wasn't there. You know how it is at parties - takes a little time for people to mill around and get settled before they want to start actually visiting at all. Nobody wants to be cornered the first second they walk in and tied down to a conversation.

But given that we were at the dance for so long before the rest of my section showed, up, his desire to leave when he did wasn't so out there. The dance supposedly started at 9pm; we showed up at 9:45 or a little before. People from my section didn't start arriving until 10:30 or 11pm. So when Rob left at around 11:45pm, he'd already been there a good couple hours.

But, I repeat, after he left, and before I found out he was just sitting in the car, I had a blast. Just lots and lots of dancing - not the swing kind, of course. But it was great to cut loose a little, and hang out with my section friends in another context.

[and yes I'm back dating this post.]